You people made me laugh:
Thinking about lubing myself up with Crisco so I can get these "skinny" jeans over my ass. #NeedToGoBackOnAdderall
Proof that soul mates exist: peanut butter and chocolate.
I don't know if I feel comfortable endorsing you on LinkedIn for the full Microsoft Office Suite. Excel? Maybe we can talk.
So I guess the reason everyone was staring at me on the subway was the giant, black, coal like mark running from my mouth down my face. Cool.
I just bought a book with the intention of reading it. Just a warning to all of you, the apocalypse may be near.
It's a good thing none of y'all felt the need to run right to your computer to report the score...
Crumbs is gone? The face of uncomfortable business associate birthdays is changed forever